Is it better to be excited or calm?

Next time you’ve got a public speaking engagement or meeting a new potential client or referral source, psych yourself up by telling yourself how excited you are rather than trying to calm down and you may actually perform better.

 That’s according to a new Harvard study published by the American Psychological Association, which found that affirmative statements like “I’m excited” helped people improve their performance compared to self-pep talks that urged relaxation such as “I am calm.”

“People have a very strong intuition that trying to calm down is the best way to cope with their anxiety, but that can be very difficult and ineffective,” said study author Alison Wood Brooks in a statement. 

“When people feel anxious and try to calm down, they are thinking about all the things that could go badly. When they are excited, they are thinking about how things could go well.”

During a math exam, with those who psyched themselves up with the mantra “I am excited” scoring an impressive eight percent higher on average compared to the “I am calm” and control groups. 

“It really does pay to be positive, and people should say they are excited. Even if they don’t believe it at first, saying ‘I’m excited’ out loud increases authentic feelings of excitement,” Brooks said. 

Increase your sales with excited self talk. 

 I am excited about your next sales conference- call me and I can make it even more exciting. Call me at http://www.lifeissales.ca

Book Review of my newest book “Life is Management”

BUSINESS BOOKSHELF: Life is Management KAYE PARKER BUSINESS BOOKSHELF Chronicle Herald Published March 14, 2014 – 6:34pm   Book discusses ways to combine vision, skill to achieve success in any field Everywhere I turn, I see that word “leadership” bandied about, and to be sure leadership is important. But what about the poor cousin, “management?” Surely we need people who can manage as much as we need people who can lead? I had been thinking about this, and right on cue, along comes Gary L. Ford, with his book Life Is Management. He contends that life is all about managing – our money, our time, our diet, our relationships – and we all have some capacity for doing this well. Ford says there is a definite difference between being a leader and being a manager, but he counters the claim that leadership is further along the evolutionary scale. He believes that we must have both capabilities for true organizational success. We have to manage the day-to-day tasks and deliver results, while at the same time keeping the big picture and long-term objectives in mind. He likes to think of a leader as someone who knows where to go, while it is their management skills that actually get them there. “Many executives will try to distinguish themselves by saying they are leaders, not managers,” says Ford. “Alarm bells should go off if you hear these words.” Visionaries may have wonderful ideas, but without the ability to execute them, those ideas will never see the light of day. As well, they often have a tendency to change their vision without letting the rest of us know. A simple test in any organization is to ask employees what the company’s vision statement is. Most of the time, employees don’t have a clue. Whether we are a leader or a manager, we do know we can’t achieve great things without great people, and great managers can bring out the best in people. How do they do this? Ford believes that good managers, just like good teachers, build on strengths, rather than focus on weaknesses. He also agrees with Malcolm Gladwell that greatness requires an enormous investment of time. He cites the Beatles as an excellent example of these two principles. Lennon and McCartney had unique musical gifts, and they focused their energy on these strengths. They devoted untold hours to honing their craft. In fact, by the time the Beatles were introduced to America, they had performed live an estimated 1,200 times – more than many of today’s bands may play in their entire career. Conventional wisdom has been to identify and document deficiencies and then spend time coaching employees to get better at what they aren’t good at. That is not the way to make work enjoyable, rewarding and invigorating. The author sees coaching in a very different light. Rather than setting the bar and then teaching employees how to reach it, Ford sees coaching as the art of asking thoughtful questions, and then listening; they facilitate a discussion so employees can discover for themselves what they can do more of, or can do differently, to achieve better results. The author also suggests that if we want to change behaviour in others, there is no better place to start than to make some changes in ourselves. And he does warn us that change is difficult, even when the end goal is clear. Whether the change is in you or your employee, start small, be clear and be consistent. You are building better habits, and you don’t want to swerve off course. Life is Management is a meaty, practical book. I have little sticky notes and highlighted passages throughout its pages. Not only has the author written a book intended to meld two critical workplace skills, managing and coaching, he also hands out some good advice for managing our time and our meetings. There is a lot of common sense wrapped between the two covers. And as a bonus, it is written by a Canadian who uses Canadian examples like Canadian Tire, Tim Hortons and a Newfoundland lighthouse in his stories. Ford is a graduate of the University of Waterloo with a degree in psychology. He has held a series of executive positions in retail banking with Canada Trust and most recently as vice-president of sales and marketing for First Canadian Title. He has co-authored two other books, Life is Sales and The Canadian Guide to Protecting Yourself from Identity Theft and Other Fraud. He also has included chapters by four other writers: Coaching to Achieve Business Results, by Connie Bird; Remote Management: Managing What You Can’t See, by Gary Laughlin; The Bully Manager, by Mario Carr; and The Personal Manager, by Draj Fozard. They are all Canadian and they each shine another light on being a manager. Although there was a lengthy list of sources cited, there was no index, although he has included a very brief summary at the end of each chapter, as well as a short biography of each guest author. Who should read this book? Anyone who aspires to be or is already a leader or a manager in an organization, because we need people who can be successful in both roles.

Buy the book online at www.lifeissales.ca   When you want to increase the effectiveness of your team, call me to dicuss how management and coaching can change behaviour and results.

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